Five years ago if you had asked me if I would ever homeschool I would have told you "Heck, no!" I never envisioned myself sitting down for hours looking over homeschool curriculum, writing my own when I couldn't find the right one, waking up daily to work with the kids on a science experiment, their grammar, math, etc., and having all my children with me all day everyday, but here I am.
My husband and I had decided before our first child was born that we would not use the public schools. Between the experiences we had and seeing the direction the public school system was going in regards to both social and educational issues, we knew our children would attend our local church's school. Another decision we made was not to send our children to all day kindergarten. We believed a 5 year old should not be couped up in a classroom for a whole day, and so we held off sending our oldest to school until first grade.
That first year our child had a hard time with one of the kids in the class. In the beginning I felt our child needed to learn how to "just get along." Why I thought this at the time is beyond me? Second grade came and the problems did not go away. Every day I had a child in my car crying. Now and then we had a happy ride home, but these only happened when a certain kid in the class had been absent that day. Day after day, week after week this continued. But I still believe my child just needed to learn to get along and things would eventually get better. Later in the year I was told by the teacher our oldest was getting better at walking away when the other kids said "You can't play with us." And I wondered to myself, why does my child have to walk away? And still we continued with school.
And then the day came that made me make a decision that I didn't want to make. I hated the idea and I went into it kicking and screaming: it was the decision to homeschool. I had received a call from the school that a child, and yes the child that had caused mine so many tears throughout the past 2 years, had "accidentally" pushed ours into the mud. I had to come to the school with a full change of clothes, even down to the underwear. Looking back I should have walked out right then and there, but we stuck it out until the end of the year with one stipulation: if anything else happened we were done.
So when fall came we began our homeschool adventure. And guess what? It was the best decision we could have made. Many times we can look back on our lives and see difficult times, but in the end they lead to a better life and that is what happened to not only my oldest, but for the rest of the family as well. Now don't misunderstand, we also have our ups and downs here at home, but I no longer have a child who feels unloved or is told "You can't play with us". We have grown stronger as a family and in the process, I believe, have become better people.
Many times I ask myself why I held out so long? Why did I allow my child day after day to be tormented? Was it because I felt only a school could teach my child? Was it that I felt inadequate to do it myself? Was it because I knew how much work and time it would take and I didn't want to commit? I suppose there were many reasons. Looking back I have many regrets on how I handled the situation at school, but I can not change the past but only learn from it. I have regrets about many things, but I do not regret the decision to educate our children at home. I am so thankful I was brought to this even if it was kicking and screaming.
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