Socialized vs. Social

This past weekend I was at a garage sale down the street from us.  I didn't know the couple, but they knew who we were.  The woman said to me, "You must be the family in the green house.  I always look at your kids and see how happy they are.  I say to myself, 'What a happy family that is.'"  Oh, what a wonderful compliment!  I know I have my days where I am not a happy camper and I am sure my children have days where they fight and quarrel, but to hear that from a stranger made me beam with pride.  I am still glowing from it.

After this, I began to think about the one concern I hear from many people:  "What about the socializaiton?"  With all the stats out there in regards to homeschooling, most people will not criticize the homeschool movement for its lack of education as homeschooled kids, on average, do much better on tests, excel in college and, quite frankly, have wonderful careers and happy home lives.  But boy do they like to bring up the socialization issue.

When I hear this concern I ask what is meant by socialization? And what many actually worry about is not socialization, but are the children social?  Can they interact with others?  Are they able to have a coherent conversation?  Do they go out and play and have fun?  And I have to laugh at this as there isn't one homeschooled child out there, at least those whom I have met, that are not happy, verbose to the extreme and just seem to love life.  I always let those naysayers know that my children can interact with others, and not just those of the same age, but children younger than them and adults too.  My kids are with people of all ages everyday and they not only are able to communicate, but they enjoy talking, and more importantly, enjoy having an intelligent conversation.  They also love to play not only by themselves (and I am not talking about sitting in front of a video game, but actual playing) but they can play with others.  And so after pointing this out and having them take a good look at my kids, most have to agree that there is nothing to worry about as my children are social.

But there is another group out there who are against homeschooling and it is not because the homeschooled kids may not be social, instead what they want is for the children to be socialized.  What I mean by this is they want children to do two things:  to stand in line or to sit.  Children in schools spend an exorbitant amount of time in lines.  There are lines for the bathroom, there are lines to go outside, there are lines to go to the cafeteria....  They also want children to sit in a chair for hours a day and they not only want children to sit in that chair, but to sit in it even if they are bored and if they can't do it they will be drugged. By "socializing" the children to do these two things they create kids who will not excel in their studies.  Why is this?  These children spend hours, and yes hours, a day doing nothing but waiting. Children in school must sit there and wait for those who are a bit slower in understanding of the subject, they must wait in line, they must wait until their question can be answered, they must wait..... Day after day this is required of the children in schools, and after awhile there is no longer the love of learning, but a hate for school. Who wouldn't dislike a place where you are always waiting?  I believe in the end what these people really want is little automatons that will not do anything unless given permission. They want children, and later adults, who will believe that they can not learn anything unless they are taught by someone else.  And most important of all they want a population who will never question those in charge.  Yes, I truly believe this is what institutionalized schools want, because this is what they produce.

So, when confronted with the "socialization" question.  First, ask what the person means?  If they are worried that your children are not social have them take a good look at your kids.  Right away they will be able to see that these children are happy and love life. But if you come across those who want your children to be "socialized", then you can proudly say "No, my children are not socialized and I will make sure it will stay that way!"